1. College: Nothing in the world beats suffocating parents and intolerant high school mates than a good dose of college freedom. It’s miraculous how in a matter of literally minutes you can go from total dependence to utter freedom. You can shed everything that you don’t like about your life when you walk through that campus entrance and create a safe, like-minded environment with friends, potential lovers, and even classes that suit your little gay heart. College is the ultimate equalizer and if you can only hang on until then, things can instantaneously get better the moment you lay those extra long twin fitted sheets on your dormitory bed. (Not to mention that in college, I got laid a lot and had the best time of my life).

2. Graduate school: I know, sounds like a dorky second choice, but for me, graduate school was the most enriching experience of my life. This was a time in my life when I pushed my brain (and my time management skills) to the max. I also made lifelong friends with some pretty amazing artists and anarchists and intellectuals. I made connections that would help me in my career in media and that I still hold on to and value today. Plus, I got to attend the high-brow, snooty academic cocktail parties, where I sipped red wine and talked about the state of society and how dreadfully wrong everything and everyone was. Plus, those parties always had awesome cheese spreads.

3. Love: I Loved. And I lost. And I loved again, and lost again. But what did that famous, insightful writer once say, “Better to have had your heart ripped out of your chest and stamped on with a stiletto than never to have had that sloppy make-out session in the bathroom of the gay bar at all.” I paraphrase, but I would not for a second trade all of the loving and losing I experienced since high school. Sure, the relationships I’ve been in weren’t all perfect — hell, none of them were — but they were all worth it.

4. Finding the one: At least I hope she’s the one, but after all the hemming and hawing with all those others that were not the one, I found someone who I want to walk through the world alongside. I don’t know if marriage or kids or anything traditional is in the equation, but it feels like a true arrival to have found someone who I can share everything with, a culmination of all the other bad dates, dysfunctional relationships, and plain-ole good times I had prior, that I never would have experienced had I ended it all before it even started.

5. Seeing the world: If I never lived past high school, I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy the warm crispiness of a croissant fresh out of the oven on a cool morning in Paris. I never would have stood on the top of a mountain after a six-hour hike in the Tyrol in Austria. I never would have seen fish the size of myself while snorkeling in Barbados, Mexico, the Virgin Islands. I never would have had the sweet juices from a fresh mango drip down on chin in Copacabana, Brazil. I never would have worn a funny hat in Canada, smoked some dope in Amsterdam, or sung “Sound of Music” cheesiness at the Von Trapp Family Lodge in Vermont, to name just a few. Travel has ripped my mind off the hinges and created some all-important perspective. I hope to live long enough to see a great deal more of the world.

6. Independence: The coolest thing about getting out of high school and growing up is that you actually get to do all those things you wanted to do but weren’t allowed to when you were younger. You can stay up as late as you want, eat ice cream for breakfast, party like it’s 1999, wear that outfit your mother hated, etc. It’s likely that you’ll (hopefully) realize at some point that it’s probably best to do laundry, get a full night’s sleep, and eat vegetables from time to time, but the point is that you have the authority over your own life and the freedom to make decisions as they best suit your wants and needs.

7. Epiphanies: I live for these moments; those rare, invaluable times when a life-changing conclusion enters into your consciousness; like the first time I realized I was gay and it was OK. The first time I really understood that life always marches on. When Plato’s cave parable finally made sense. When I learned that I had ultimate control of my body. Breaking habits. I look forward to getting older and learning even more truths about myself and the world around me.

8. Making a Difference: Whether it’s writing about marginalized people to bring awareness to a cause, dropping a dollar into the homeless man’s cup on the street, or been just being on the other end of the phone for a friend in need, making a difference in someone else’s life has made me feel more alive and it’s something I would never have realized in my adolescence

9. Fulfilling potential: I’ve wanted to be a writer since as early as I can remember. I wrote bad poetry at age seven and an even more insipid book when I was double that age, but I always held onto that dream. While I’m still relatively young and have much potential yet to fulfill, I have gotten closer and closer to that dream with every step I’ve take in life. I wrote for my high school paper and then my college one. I then started to freelance for some cool publications and now am happy to report that I write for a living – and some pretty fun writing at that. One day I hope to be able to write even more leisurely and with even wider reach (from my beach house with no alarm clocks), but things are pretty sweet and I’m living the life that at age 14, 15, and 16 I had only dreamt about.

10. Feeling confident: The older I get, the more confident I am. I enjoy things more deeply because I know myself more intimately. I understand my mind, body, and spirit better. Since high school, I’ve greatly developed my likes and dislikes and, as a result, everything from dinner and social activities, to the company I keep to sex are astronomically better than they were then.

*A little bonus list of below of the top 10 things I never would have enjoyed had I not made it past high school:

10. The Caribbean
9. Filet mignon
8. Living on my own
7. Dirty martinis
6. High tea at the Russian Tea Room
5. My cat
4. Aurora borealis
3. My family
2. My G-spot
1. Becoming an adult!

Photo credit: yoppy

Top Ten Things That Never Would Have Happened If I Didn’t Make It Past High School

X-rays, you say? Nope… Antibiotics? Nope… Germ theory? Wrong again.

The answer, according to the British Medical Journal, is toilets, or a sanitation facility that “ensures hygienic separation of human excrement from human contact.”

1.5 million children have died from sanitation-related illnesses so far this year and the Acumen Fund, a non-profit that seeks to find creative solutions to global poverty, has launched an inventive international competition to tackle the ‘human excrement problem’.

Doo, doo, in other words… crap, poo, shit, number two. Whatever you want to call it, 2.5 billion people on this earth (2 out of 5) are doing the deed in the outdoors, in unhygienic, shared facilities, or in open latrines so gross we’d all prefer to talk about the weather or somehow avoid the subject.

“And that’s the problem,” the Acumen Fund writes in their promotional material for the contest. “Nobody wants to think about sanitation, so we don’t talk about sanitation. We’ve gotten good at talking about malaria, AIDS, disaster relief, global warming, cancer, safe drinking water, and even investing in girls. But, nobody wants to talk about sanitation. The issue is far from sexy. It’s gross. It’s uncomfortable. It’s funny.”

The contest, ‘Sanitation is Sexy’, calls on artists, designers, videographers, advertisers and creative types all over the world to submit solutions to this sanitation crises by November 21. “Use your creative genius to show the world that the lack of basic sanitation is one of the most critical issues facing the developing world today,” the contest banner reads.

Potential solutions are quite open ended: a contestant’s submission (all you gotta do is email your idea) can be as simple as a photo documenting any physical objects or service they have created.

Suggestion include: The most retweetable tweet of all time, guerrilla marketing or public art, an iconic print ad or poster, a story or essay, a game-changing video that will put sanitation on the map, or anything unexpected.

James Wu, the Acumen Fund’s curator of the contest, told Change.org that he hopes it will “help shed light on the issue of sanitation with a much broader community beyond the development world.”

Winning submissions will be featured by the competition sponsors, including Design Observer, GOOD Magazine and YouTube. The winning video submissions will be featured on YouTube’s homepage for 24 hours.

The inspiration for the project came from MacKenzie Fegan’s project “Sewers.” She has since been asked to join the judging panel for the competition, which includes: Daniel Burka, Director of Design at Tiny Speck; William Drenttel, the Editorial Director of Design Observer; the writer Steven Johnson and David Kurla, Founder and CEO of Ecotact, which builds clean public toilets in Kenya.

Readers should also check out Acumen, a hip organization that seeks to milk the power of creativity to better the world. The “Sanitation is Sexy” initiative is the first in a series of challenges based on using ingenuity and inventiveness for social change. Sign up for notifications of future challenges here.

Shout out to James Wu, the competition’s curator and an avid reader of the Change.org Human Rights blog, for contacting us.

Photo credit: The Acumen Fund

“Sanitation is Sexy”: Turning Poop into Action

Apparently a group of anti-gay readers didn’t quite enjoy seeing the joyful image of a same-sex couple in their paper. So instead of moving forward with the signs of the times, The Jewish Standard is back-tracking on their decision to publish same-sex wedding announcements. Their readership isn’t ready, the Standard argues. And then they go on to apologize for the hurt they may have caused readers offended by seeing the same-sex couple’s announcement.

Sorry, the hurt that a few anti-gay readers felt? How about the pain of LGBT people and their family members who are watching The Jewish Standard backtrack on equality?

“We set off a firestorm last week by publishing a same-sex couple’s announcement of their intent to marry. Given the tenor of the times, we did not expect the volume of comments we have received, many of them against our decision to run the announcement, but many supportive as well,” The Jewish Standard said in an announcement printed yesterday. “A group of rabbis has reached out to us and conveyed the deep sensitivities within the traditional/Orthodox community to this issue. Our subsequent discussions with representatives from that community have made us aware that publication of the announcement caused pain and consternation, and we apologize for any pain we may have caused.”

The Jewish Standard then goes on to say that they won’t publish same-sex wedding announcements in the future.

There you have it. Same-sex wedding announcements cause pain and consternation, and The Jewish Standard is sorry for ever allowing a same-sex couple to grace its pages.

Maybe it’s time to send The Jewish Standard a little message, letting them know that their decision to eliminate same-sex wedding announcements from their paper is bad for business, and bad for the principles of love and commitment that lie at the core of their theology.

Funny that The Jewish Standard cites a group of readers and rabbis who were upset with their original decision to publish the same-sex wedding announcement. Because if you read over the comments now being left for the Jewish Standard on their Web site, it reads like a slew of marriage equality supporters.

“How disappointing for this publication, one where I always felt at home reading about this accepting Jewish faith. You have lost a faithful reader in me,” user Leah writes. “To say the least, I am extremely saddened, disappointed and disheartened by my own people and our religious and supposed moral leaders.”

She’s not the only one.

“I am dismayed that a newspaper which seeks to be a voice for the ENTIRE Jewish community in Northern New Jersey, not just for ‘a group of rabbis within the traditional/Orthodox community,’ would make such an unjust editorial decision,” says Jordan Namerov. “What a shame that gay and lesbian Jews will open up the pages of The Jewish Standard and be told that there is no place for them here. How terribly painful to send a message to those who are leading meaningful Jewish lives that their love is not worthy of communal recognition.”

There’s a host of others. Perhaps none more powerful than reader “Wayne’s” comment:

“Absolutely despicable decision, and the most craven form of journalism. I assume the Standard will also stop running articles about women who work outside the home, wear immodest clothing, or sing in the presence of men, since those people might behave in way that offends the delicate sensitivities of a few readers?” Wayne says. “When you cave in to the most restrictive among us, you alienate everyone else — and pushing certain people back into invisibility in order to avoid being ‘divisive’ is, in itself, a horribly divisive stand. Shame.”

And that’s really the crux of the argument there. The Jewish Standard wants to make same-sex couples invisible, and their editorial statement affirming their decision to ban same-sex wedding announcements caters to the lowest common denominator in discussions surrounding faith and sexuality: fear. Fear that the world is changing, that more and more people support their LGBT relatives/friends/neighbors, and that the rights that heterosexuals claimed all for themselves are opening up to others.

Sad that The Jewish Standard is willing to cave in like this. Their mission statement says they’re “not affiliated with any program, organization, movement, or point of view, but [are] dedicated to giving expression to all phases of Jewish life.” Talk about failing to live up to their own mission statement.

Send the Jewish Standard a message that their decision to render same-sex couples invisible only serves to create more division and hurt. Readers should demand better of the editors at the publication.

Photo credit: MZPromise

The Jewish Standard Says Same-Sex Wedding Announcements Cause Pain

“Once I stomp the midget, I’m gonna make that mother___er  make me a sushi roll and cook me some rice,” bragged the African-American Mayweather. Apparently, it’s of no consequence to Mayweather that sushi is Japanese and Pacquiao is Filipino, as Mayweather seems to believe that Asian ethnic groups are interchangeable.

He later called Pacquiao a “f____t,” using homophobia to stereotype Asian men as feminine, and threatened to “cook that motherf___er up with some dogs and cats.”

Mayweather’s rant is textbook racist, and the fact that he’s black doesn’t let him off the hook.  But visitors to websites such as the Huffington Post, which posted video of his tirade, are defending the champ. They argue that Mayweather probably doesn’t really hate Asians and that his rant against Pacquiao isn’t as offensive as Muhammad Ali’s rants against his competitors.

Such points are irrelevant, though.

One needn’t hate members of another race to believe that they’re inferior. And with the ugly stereotypes Mayweather dredged up about Asians in his rant, I’ve no qualms about labeling the boxer’s words “racist.” Whether he truly hates Asians is beside the point, considering that he used the same hate speech to berate Pacquiao that bigots use to justify brutalizing minorities — from Asians to blacks to Latinos. Moreover, to defend Mayweather by saying he’s not as bad as Ali — who once called fellow black boxer Joe Frazier a “gorilla” — is like saying Dr. Laura isn’t so bad because she only dropped the N-word 11 times while another celebrity dropped it 12 times. We must set the bar higher.

Because this isn’t the first time a celebrity has launched a race-based attack against Pacquiao, the public should be especially outraged. Back in April, radio personality Adam Carolla made a remark about Pacquiao “praying to chicken bones” due to the boxer’s Filipino background. During the same discussion, Carolla also said that the Philippines had nothing to offer but boxing champ Pacquiao and “sex tours.”

Imagine if an African American athlete had been put down because of his race — not by one but two public figures. I’d expect blacks, whites and everyone in-between to be up in arms. Perhaps because Asians are stereotyped as being the “model minority” and the racism aimed at them is often dished out under the guise of humor, the public tends not take anti-Asian sentiment seriously. In fact, throughout his rant against Pacquiao, Mayweather chuckled. He no doubt thought it was funny to brag about cooking up Pacquiao with “cats and dogs.” But the Filipino community isn’t laughing.

Filipino activist Dennis Arguelles of the group Search to Involve Pilipino Americans is demanding that Mayweather apologize.

“As a person of color, you’d think he’d know better than to use racial and ethnic slurs,” Arguelles told L.A. news station ABC 7.

In other words, the fact that Mayweather’s black doesn’t give him a pass to use racially offensive language. Racial put downs aren’t trash talk, but hate speech. Click here to send that very message to Mayweather.

Photo Credit: Mark Kobayashi-Hillary

Floyd Mayweather Uses Asian Stereotypes to Trash Manny Pacquiao

Oh, wait. I’m sorry, was that not funny? Maybe because Spirit Airlines’ promotion wasn’t funny either. Of course, that didn’t stop them.

Spirit emailed this ad to its subscribers on Tuesday at 1:21 p.m. I know this because I was one such subscriber. It’s no coincidence that the bottles of tanning oil just happen to be green and yellow; BPs colors. As you can see, the bottles are labeled “Best Protection,” with the “B” and the “P” highlighted in bold. In addition to the subject line of the email, the first sentence of the ad asked subscribers to “Check out the oil on our beaches. You won’t be disappointed.”

When outrage at the callous ad erupted in the blogosphere, Spirit didn’t even have the good sense to issue an apology. Nope; instead, they responded by saying we just didn’t get it: “It is unfortunate that some have misunderstood our intention with today’s beach promotion. We are merely addressing the false perception that we have oil on our beaches, and we are encouraging customers to support Florida and our other beach destinations by continuing to travel to these vacation hot spots … Although misunderstood by some, today’s promotion was clearly appreciated by others.”

Oh really, Spirit Airlines? They quote one of the emails they received from a “customer,” thanking them for stimulating travel to the state of Florida, but even that email fails to thank them for their poor taste in tactics.

Also, as you can see, the ad highlights travel to Atlantic City, Ft. Lauderdale, Cancun and San Juan, Puerto Rico — destinations that have, thus far, been untouched by the spill. If Spirit wanted to promote tourism to the Gulf Coast, it could have. But instead, Spirit thought that it would be ok to poke fun at sea turtles being burned alive. Spirit thought that massive die-offs resulting from fish, dolphins, and sharks getting trapped close to shore were amusing. Spirit thought that the dogs and cats facing euthanasia, due to their owners having lost their livelihoods because of the oil spill, are an appropriate subject for humor.

They are wrong. And you can help demonstrate just how wrong they are by participating in Saturday’s global protest to prevent future oil spills. Because these pictures aren’t funny.

Spirit Airlines Mocks Oil on Beaches

Possibly The Greatest Single Picture Of All Time