Collier County Parenting
It takes two to make a baby. I’m sure we have all heard that before, we don’t always appreciate what a raw deal a father gets in his life as a parent. Sure, the mother does the lion’s share of the caring in a traditional environment, but a father has the added responsibility of being the breadwinner as well as husband, father and man.
The pressure to earn a living, put food on the table and a roof over your head can be acute. There is a thin line between a family who lives and a family who survives, and this pressure often weighs heavily on a father. This leads to long hours, worry, expectations, desperation and the threat of poverty in all but the most privileged homes.
Despite all this, the father also has to be a father, not a distant figure who appears late in the evening then falls asleep as soon as they have eaten. The child loves the father as much as the mother, wants to play with him, be with him, even snuggle up and sleep with him.
The fact that in most cases the father is out at work means the time he is at home is at a premium. Not only does he have to make time for his wife, children, chores and home repairs, he has to make time for himself. It can seem like a father is a second class parent, where the children gravitate to their mother whenever something happens, or they need attention. This isn’t personal, it’s because most of the time the mother is around more, and the child is in the habit of going to her for comfort.
In families where the father is at home, the opposite is true. It is often the father the children go to for comfort and solace. It’s just about the structure and circumstance of the family, not the father being a secondary parent. It’s important for fathers to believe they are an equal part of the Naples family, and feel it as well as act it.
Although we are loathe to give fathers more to do, it’s important that they talk about their hopes and fears with someone. Preferably other fathers in the same situation. Only by getting it off their chest, sharing and hearing that they aren’t alone can they accept the burden and make the most of their lives.
It is important to earn a living and keep a family out of poverty, but it shouldn’t be everything a father should be. Play with the children is important, especially while they’re young in order for the father to be able to bond with them.
Fathers can specialize in physical play. A bit of rough and tumble, football, wrestling and generally messing about to create bonds with their children. Let them win, but not by much, contain strength, keep control and make it so the children love their time with their father.
Often once tired children will express their feelings. This isn’t a request to fix things, it’s more a request to listen to them and offer them comfort once they get if off their chest. Listen to them, let them know you’re listening and you have a friend for life.
They don’t beg for pity. At home they’re boss. They wield a hammer by day and at night cradle their children. These are the 