As a legislator, McDonnell was chief sponsor and author of a state constitutional amendment banning same-sex couples from marriage. McDonnell’s Web site proudly boasts that he was twice named “Legislator of the Year” by the Virginia Family Foundation, an ultra-conservative group. As governor, in February 2010, he signed an executive order banning discrimination against state workers on the basis of race, sex, religion and age — but not sexual orientation, as his predecessors had done. A month later, after much criticism, he issued an executive directive (not as strong as an executive order), saying that he would not tolerate discrimination of any kind, including that based on sexual orientation. And his Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli forced the halt of a proposed state regulatory change that would have allowed government employees to add same-sex partners to their state health benefits.

McDonnell’s former in-law, however — the divorced spouse of his wife’s sister — is transgender. In April, at an LGBT-rights rally held by Equality Virginia, she announced to the crowd, “I am father to three of the present governor’s nephews and nieces.” She said she wants to use her association with the governor to advance LGBT rights, especially because she fears her personal situation may have “hardened” some of his views.

The Washington Post has a long piece today on Deane, and reports that several LGBT activists are skeptical of Deane’s motives. Sen. A. Donald McEachin (D-Richmond), an advocate of LGBT rights, told WaPo that “several activists have told him they are worried that Deane will shift attention from the cause to her,” and that “It’s incumbent to all of us to keep the issue front and center. The more all of us do to speak out about the issue, the more it becomes about the issue.”

Wait just a minute. The “issue” here is civil rights — and civil rights are about people. One cannot separate them from the people whom they affect.

Yes, there are those whose activism seems motivated by the desire for personal fame rather than truly benefiting the cause. I have no idea if Deane is that kind of a person. I also hope that the comments about her are not motivated by transphobia. On the other hand, she is related to the governor through a marriage that has ended, which seems a tenuous connection — but tenuous or not, the situation also reflects that more and more non-LGBT people will at some point in their lives know someone who is LGBT.

These connections are critical for equality. Research from the Pew Center has found that “People who have a close gay friend or family member are more likely to support gay marriage and they are also significantly less likely to favor allowing schools to fire gay teachers than are those with little or no personal contact with gays.” It does not seem like a stretch to think this would apply to those who know transgender people as well.

Imagine what would happen if every LGBT friend, relative, and ex-relative connected to anti-LGBT politicians made themselves publicly known, in addition to having private conversations with the official. It would be no guarantee that the politicians would change their minds, but it would make it much more awkward for them to justify their positions.

Come out. Be visible. That is perhaps the oldest and simplest tactic in the LGBT-rights handbook. Could it also be the most effective?

Photo credit: Conk 9

Six Degrees of Bob McDonnell